My family was blessed to be invited by Scott Brown, the director of the National Center for Family Integrated Churches, to attend their annual mega-conference at Ridgecrest, North Carolina last weekend. The conference this year was entitled, “Gospel Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church.” I have been studying and following this movement of Family Integrated Churches for only a couple of years and see very clearly their arguments for age integrated discipleship, home education, and fathers shepherding their families to Christ. I am so encouraged by the movement that we have invited Voddie Baucham, pastor of Grace Family Baptist Church in Houston, TX, to Cleary next weekend to challenge our men, as well as men from around the state and area. (By the way men…if you have not registered you still have time. Just click here.)
I am not the pastor of a Family Integrated Church so, while at the conference, I was kind of like an outsider looking in at the product of this model. I made some observations while there that I would love to share with you in this blog. I am going to attempt to be as honest and fair as possible as I relate to you the observations I made Thursday, Friday, and Saturday as we attended this conference with 2200 other people.
Observation 1: I expected to see a bunch of white people and I did. But what I noticed right away was that there were several minority families present. It made my heart beat fast to see African American families, Asian families, and Hispanic families present at the conference. It is exciting to see that this is not a “white’s only” movement and that the movement is picking up speed among minorities.
Observation 2: These people believe Psalm 127. Children are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb is a reward, not an inconvenience. Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of children! Most families at the conference had more than the traditional 0.8 children per family for sure! But I also noticed that these families were taking James 1:27 seriously. They were taking their responsibility to care for orphans seriously by doing more than just talking about the need. Adopted children were seen frequently around the meeting hall. I saw multiple families that had adopted African American children, Guatemalan children, Ukranian children, and on and on. What a blessing and encouragement to see a group of people who not only talk about life, but invest in lives. The FIC movement is definitely a movement of life!
Observation 3: Beauty! There were young ladies (teenagers) everywhere and what stood out about all of them was a modest beauty that screamed purity. Mandy has said on more than one occasion, “It is not necessary to be homely in order to be holy.” That was proven this past weekend. In my church and in most churches, the teenage girls dress in such a way that screams promiscuity. Yes, they are wearing what is popular and in style, but it is what it is and it screams what it screams. Short shorts, short skirts, strapless, low-cut, halter top in-style clothing seems to scream promiscuity. At the conference, the clothing that was worn by the young ladies clearly framed their faces instead of their figures. The impression conveyed was purity, not promiscuity…beauty, not the cultural beast.
Observation 4: Age segregation. Yes, you heard me right. At an age integrated conference, I saw age segregation. Fathers were often found in a huddle. Mothers were often found in a huddle. Children were often seen rolling down a hill together, and teens were congregating together as well. This is what I saw as different however…the teens who were huddled together were not discussing foolishness…they were fellowshipping. Where most of the teenagers that I am familiar with would have been in a corner text messaging, on Facebook, discussing a boy or girl they were attracted to, or the latest reality TV show, these teens were discussing the Word of God, the messages preached, their families, their pasts, their plans, etc. Yes, there was age segregation, but it was uplifting and encouraging to see that the focus was godly fellowship, not foolishness.
Observation 5: Socialization. So often, one of the criticisms I hear about home education is, “how are your children going to be socialized?” Well, most people who home educate know what that question really means…“how are your children going to be worldy?” After all, if they aren’t in public school and mentored by their peers how are they going to know all the ins and outs of Hollywood, popular music, and reality TV? So, one of the reasons I home educate is to keep my kids from being worldy (socialized). As I looked around this past weekend what I saw was a group of teens that are much more socialized than most “normal ‘socialized’ teens.” They could carry on a conversation without saying “like” like 1000 times like every few minutes. Yes, they could actually carry on adult conversations with adults! One of the most encouraging times was on Saturday. I had a lunch meeting, which left Mandy alone with 2 seven year olds, a three year old, and a seven month old in a stroller to go through the cafeteria line for lunch. It was a challenge for me and her to get the trays filled and to the tables without a disaster. Saturday, she enters the lunch line without me and is wondering what she is going to do, when a 16 or 17 year old girl sees her, comes along side, helps serve the trays and helps take the trays and the kids to the table. She then sits with Mandy, helps her with the children, carries on an adult conversation, and then helps her clean off the table after lunch. I don’t care who you are or where you are, that is not a normal 16 or 17 year old girl. If that is un-socialized, I will take it. While I admit that there are some families in home education who are not socialized (in the real sense of the word), I am pretty confident they would be that way no matter where they were educated and am pretty confident that the reason they homeschool is because their children and families do not know how to relate in a healthy manner to others. That type of family gives all home educators a reputation for being dysfunctional socially. That is just not the case! The families that I observed at the conference, for the most part, did not home educate because their children can’t relate to others, but because they believe it is their responsibility to raise, educate, and disciple the children God has entrusted to them based on Deut 6. These families and their children were not socially dysfunctional. They were very social…just not worldly.
Observation 6: Health. Mandy noticed it first, maybe because we were a bit out of place on this issue...but their were very very few overweight people at the conference. Out of 2200 people only a handful would have been considered obese. Apparently the people that make up this movement are disciplined as individuals...or maybe they just don't eat as much "southern" fried chicken as we do in Mississippi, but an impression was made nonetheless.
Observation 7: The Gospel. While this movement is often accused of idolizing the family, I repeatedly heard over and over: “It is about Christ! It is about the glory of Christ! It is for the glory of God and His Gospel!” These people love their families, protect their families, and disciple their families, but their focus as far as I could tell, is the glory of God and the advance of His kingdom. I heard over and over again about families bringing the lost into their homes, investing in them, and evangelizing them. I heard about a church that has 20 men who regularly go out and preach on the street. These people are evangelistic. As a matter of fact, the reason this group home educates their children is evangelistic. That is right! They have taken note of the fact that we are losing 8 out of 10 of our children who are raised up in evangelical churches. 8 out of every 10 walk away from the church when they graduate high school. Consider that those who home educate in order to disciple their children retain 9 out of 10, according to Voddie Baucham. That is right! 9 out of 10 children who are home educated with a focus on discipleship stay. The reason these families are doing what they are doing is to evangelize and disciple their children. And almost always, when in public, they will be encountered with questions about how their family is so well ordered and their children are so respectful and obedient etc. This opens the door for more evangelism. In fact the theme for next year’s mega-conference is “The Fields are White Unto Harvest.” I plan to go and I don’t think it would be a bad idea for you to check it out as well!
If you want more information on the National Center for Family Integrated Churches you can go to their website at ncfic.org and check it out. While you may not agree with, or see the argument for everything they are doing, I am convinced you, and your family, will be blessed by looking into the website and the resources that are available through this ministry and its affiliates.
Until next time…
